MIA needs to get MIA

Maybe my age is showing, but pop music sucks these days. And it doesn’t just stop at your local Top 40 radio station, they’re ruining the internet too. Even if you can manage to steer your Pandora station away from the mindless blather of one particularly popular star, a petite singer from the UK named MIA, whoever she paid to design her website should be taken out back. Sure, I could get get past the endless scroll (rule #1 of terrible design. Bleh.). The problem is the endless bullshit and complete lack of clarity. Is it a blog? Is it a celebration of terrible music? Or is it just a collection of bad iPhone photos?

We expect better, Pop Music. And we’re keeping an eye on you.

MXYPLYZYK…… WTF?!?

Let’s start with the most confusing brand name ever, which apparently cannot be pronounced in English, or any other language for that matter. I wonder what they call themselves in the office? “Weird-ass Jumble Of Letters” might be suitable. As if the name itself weren’t confusing as hell, the navigation can only be described as a “real head-scratcher.”

Each of the circles, which alternately flashes different text and image, make choosing the right navigation a fun game of Russian Roulette, where you’re never actually sure which part of the site you will be brought to until it’s too late, and the server is already doing its thing, routing you to some place you probably don’t want to be. Sigh.

Home goods? Toys? Fake wood for websites? It’s totally unclear just exactly what the folks over at MXYPLYZYK do… a complete and utter shoppingFAIL.

Oh. My. God. This Is Absurd.

For all of its absolute flaws (and I mean flaws), this site’s developer created a a true work of art, even if unintentionally. What you can’t see on this screen shot is that the rainbow background is constantly cycling through in a psychedelic mix that would make even the reserve individual get fully into the excitement.

We also give him (or her?) major points for the ever-so-tricky fake pop-up blocker bar at the top. Look closely! It’s actually just some creative copy.

In fact, this site is so off the wall besides an ideological message I have no idea if there is anything to be sold, or a link to click or what. I’m too paralyzed by the never ending colors. Intense!

Why Online Shopping Sucks Sometimes

Park & Bond helpfully suggests a duffle bag or stepladders when the headphones I wanted were out of stock. Not just that, but these alternatives are apparently “hand-picked,” which begs the question…  what brain those hands were connected to?!

It’s not so bad that Park & Bond’s brain is horribly inaccurate with recommendations, but the blatant lie about the alternatives being “hand picked” is just sad! +1 for trying to infuse personality in your copy, -1000 for the #ShoppingFAIL!

Try and Navigate This Page. I Dare You.

It looks like the fearsome beast of awful web design knows no boundaries: from political borders to company size. This web site is the home page for one of Canada’s most prestigious design firms (and sports that every-so-classy .ca extension). The problem is the navigation is more cringe-worthy than any thing else we’ve seen. Yes, it even beats the egg-navigation.

Why? Well, your cursors turns into a pencil which frustratingly sketches all around the page as you try and figure out how exactly to click on anything remotely button-like. But adding insult to web design injury, the logos–presumably the buttons–of various brand names actively run away from the pencil. The result? Lots of scribbling, and very little clue as to how exactly this design and marketing firm could be the right choice for growing your business.

Of course, I always like to give kudos for new and unusual design. Not every website has to look exactly the same. But sometimes, the creativity goes too far, and you just want to punch your monitor, and the little pencil-cursor inside it. Sigh.

Eggs Should Be Fried. Not Fry Your Brain.

It looks like restaurant week is continuing here on ShoppingFAIL, especially with this latest excellent find of neat-design-gone-horribly-wrong. Unlike some of our posts which make you want to quit the internet on account of frustrating incompetence, this site gets points for at least trying. The restaurant seems like a classy place: exciting cuisine, elegant lighting, and decent food for a great night out.

In fact, the disappointment from this ShoppingFAIL is the very fact that I actually wanted to learn more but couldn’t because some designer thought sleek design should win over actually decent layout. Wondering how to learn more about the restaurant? After several frustrating minutes, the key is clear: the eggs. Yes, the eggs. Turns out if you hover your mouse over the weird egg holder, each egg leads to more information, but there is not way to know if you’ve hit all of the eggs, or there is more information left over!

In other words, these eggs are frying my brain. We just can’t see how this could make sense to anyone. So much potential, but so much loss..